I feel like everyone complains way too much, myself included. Because of this, I have decided to make a list of bad things that happen to people, followed by worse case scenarios.
2) Your teacher gives you back a test and there is an F at the top.
Worse Case: The teacher gives you your test back and there is a note stuck to the back of it: "Dear (Insert your mom's name here)." You later find out they are having an affair.
3) You get a flat tire and need to pull over to the side of the road.
Worse Case: Your ex-girlfriend cut your breaks and the Earth's crust is melting.
4) Your phone dies on vacation and you left your charger at home.
Worse Case: Your phone dies on vacation and you left your charger at home.
5) Your roommate smokes weed in your room.
Worse Case: Your roommate uses you as a mule for cocaine to get past customs at the airport.
6) You cut yourself while shaving.
Worse Case: You cut your head off while jousting.
7) You don't get a part in the school play.
Worse Case: You get casted in one of Nicholas Cage's movies.
8) You get a parking ticket.
Worse Case: You find out your car is gone and has been replaced with a 1971 Ford Pinto.
9) Your baby won't stop crying.
Worse Case: Your baby is a different race than both you and your wife of 10 years.
10) You have the stomach flu.
Worse Case: You don't have a stomach.
11) Your boyfriend breaks up with you.
Worse Case: Your boyfriend photoshops a penis onto you in the naked pic you sent him and sends it to every one of his phone contacts and facebook friends.
12) Your dog died.
Worse Case: You're the last person alive and you have to strangle your dog because he has the virus.
14) You stepped in dog poop.
Worse Case: Your dog pooped in your shoe.
Til next time,
Bhoov
1) You trip over the rug in your house and spill wine on the carpet.
Worse Case: You trip over a dead body and spill semen everywhere while on your way to the sperm bank
2) Your teacher gives you back a test and there is an F at the top.
Worse Case: The teacher gives you your test back and there is a note stuck to the back of it: "Dear (Insert your mom's name here)." You later find out they are having an affair.
3) You get a flat tire and need to pull over to the side of the road.
Worse Case: Your ex-girlfriend cut your breaks and the Earth's crust is melting.
4) Your phone dies on vacation and you left your charger at home.
Worse Case: Your phone dies on vacation and you left your charger at home.
5) Your roommate smokes weed in your room.
Worse Case: Your roommate uses you as a mule for cocaine to get past customs at the airport.
6) You cut yourself while shaving.
Worse Case: You cut your head off while jousting.
7) You don't get a part in the school play.
Worse Case: You get casted in one of Nicholas Cage's movies.
8) You get a parking ticket.
Worse Case: You find out your car is gone and has been replaced with a 1971 Ford Pinto.
9) Your baby won't stop crying.
Worse Case: Your baby is a different race than both you and your wife of 10 years.
10) You have the stomach flu.
Worse Case: You don't have a stomach.
11) Your boyfriend breaks up with you.
Worse Case: Your boyfriend photoshops a penis onto you in the naked pic you sent him and sends it to every one of his phone contacts and facebook friends.
12) Your dog died.
Worse Case: You're the last person alive and you have to strangle your dog because he has the virus.
13) Your favorite sweater shrinks in the dryer.
Worse Case: You fall down a rabbit hole.
14) You stepped in dog poop.
Worse Case: Your dog pooped in your shoe.
Til next time,
Bhoov
Good stuff there buddy! I say this all the time. Stems from the fact that my Mom read me the book, "It Could Have Been Worse." all the time as a kid. Well I kept asking her to read it to me, but I know she got tired of it after the 10th time!!
ReplyDeleteRob