Jurassic Park

After finding the back of the line, I reached in the pocket of my sweatshirt and pulled out my bus ticket, "From New York to Wilkes-barre" it read.  "Thank God" I thought as I stuffed the ticket back into my pocket.  I then waited for the bus to begin boarding.  The Port Authority Bus terminal was the same as always; dim lighting, the usual hustle and bustle, and above all else, close.  After almost two months without being home I felt like the city was suffocating me, closing in with each passing day.  I was relieved when the doors opened and people began boarding.  When I finally made my way to the front of the line I handed the driver my ticket, set my luggage by the storage bin, climbed the bus stairs, and found my seat.

It soon became apparent that a high school class had been on a field trip to the big city and had now graced me with their presence for the trip home.  "Son of a bitch" I thought, putting in my ear buds, "Its going to be a long ride."  Seated in the row just ahead of me was an elderly man who looked like the owner of Jurassic Park.  White hair, white beard, slacks, dress shirt, this guy had to have been late for his presentation on the whole mosquito bit.  Anyways, being the overly observant person that I am (believe me, in some cases I wish this weren't the case.  This being one of them) I noticed that this Dr. Hammond look-alike continually blew his nose into his hands and then proceeded to wipe it on his right shoulder.  "Just look away Bryan.  Thats it....Damnit Bryan, look away!"  The voice inside my head was screaming at me to take my attention elsewhere, anywhere but that right shoulder.  The old man finally tuckered himself out and he fell asleep.  Randomly throughout the majority of the ride, my newly observed bus buddy would loudly burst out and mutter something in his sleep.  At the first outburst it finally hit me.  If I don't play my cards right this could be me.  I could be this Dr. Hammond from Jurassic Park look-alike, just wiping snot all over myself and sleeptalking on long bus rides.  How scary is that?  Thats a wake up call if I've ever seen one.  

About midway through this magical bus ride I noticed that I had that traveler's feeling.  I guess people call it motion sickness.  The scrabble tiles on my blackberry started quivering.  It wasn't the feeling of sickness but more of just an uneasy feeling like your wasteband is too tight or its too hot on the bus.  That feeling like you could just shit your brains out if only it were humanly possible.  I started to wonder if eating that entire box of donut holes was really a great idea as i reached up and directed both of the air conditioning blower things at my face.  As it turned out, I survived the rest of the trip with no unfortunate events.  I arrived at the Wilkes-barre bus terminal, my Dad arrived a few minutes after.  I hopped in the car, eager to get home, and away we went.

Til next time

Bhoov

4:00 A.M

       Laying on the couch in the suite's commonroom, I looked at my phone, "A half hour should be good."  I set the alarm for 4:30 a.m and proceeded to put my hood up and shield my eyes from the overhead light.  I tossed and turned on the little couch for a few minutes before going over and turning off the commonroom lights.  I laid back down, motionless for several minutes, just staring at the spackled ceiling.  A million thoughts must have been barreling  through my mind at that point but one thought reoccurred again and again, "What the hell am I doing?  It's a Sunday night, I'm 19 years old, and I've been staring at facts about bacteria for the past 4 hours."  For some, a question like this means nothing.  A little complaining and the idea dissolves like sugar in a cup of coffee.  For me, things are a bit different.  Worries don't brush off, they don't roll off, they actually form a think bubble and follow me around for weeks on end.  My natural instinct is "I have to get out."  It started when I was younger.  I would always try everything and when I would get that feeling like "this isn't for me" I would try something else.  

Laying on that couch at 4:00 in the morning, I started to think of other professions I might want to pursue.  "I could be a teacher, maybe even a journalist.  Is this Physician Assistant thing really worth it?" I thought to myself as I stared into the early morning blackness.

When I started writing this blog, I was going to end it with..."This is going to be the first thing I have ever finished, right down to the end."  Instead, I'm rethinking that, big surprise there.  So as of right now I'm still thinking, always thinking.

Cheers,

Bhoov