Today was the one on one counselor meeting for my alcoholic problems. I know, its better that I'm beginning to accept it. Anyways, I needed to borrow MA's St. John's laptop because mine is currently out of commission. When I entered the counseling center I wanted to start with something classic, "Sorry I'm late. I had to borrow my friend's computer because I destroyed mine in a drunken rage last night." What really came out was, "Hi, my names Bryan Hoover. I have a BASICS meeting." The secretary looked at me and smiled, "What was your last name again? Hooper?" "No, Hoover. H-O-O-V-E-R." She typed on her computer keyboard for a few seconds or so and looked from her screen to me, "It says here your appointment is for 2:30." I looked down at the clock on my phone, 10:30, great. She smiled again at me, "We'll see you a little later." I walked out and went back to the room to sleep.
When I returned a few hours later I felt like I looked the part. I had my glasses on, hair was all over the place, not sure what was going on with my outfit, I didn't have socks on. "Yes, this is much better," I thought. Now I just need a better story. "Sorry I'm late. I had to borrow my friends computer because mine got too close to the flame while I was cooking my meth." Golden. "Hi, I'm back again." The secretary looked at me puzzled for a second. "Bryan Hooper." "O yes now I remember. I'm terrible with faces." "Yeah, you're also terrible with names," I thought. She then had me fill out some surveys. When I finished, she notified me that the counselors were in a meeting and that I should have a seat in the waiting area.
Not long after, the door to the one office opened and a bunch of counselor-looking folk filed out. It looked as though two of them were eyeing the waiting area like they were the main people. One of them was a guy. He was about 6 foot. Yeah, great description but I don't really know much else about him. The second was a woman who looked to be about upper 20s early 30s. She had dirty blonde hair and wore grey leggins with a green sweater. She was a looker I must say. I sound like I'm 80 when I use the word "looker" but its either that or sound like I'm 13 and use "pretty lady" instead. Anyways, they both kept looking over at me. I was trying to think of a way to get the lady to call me. In my head I was thinking, "Maybe if I bare my teeth at the guy when he looks in, he'll be afraid, and if I smile at the pretty lady, she will want to counsel me." If anyone is wondering I was picturing this in my head:
When I returned a few hours later I felt like I looked the part. I had my glasses on, hair was all over the place, not sure what was going on with my outfit, I didn't have socks on. "Yes, this is much better," I thought. Now I just need a better story. "Sorry I'm late. I had to borrow my friends computer because mine got too close to the flame while I was cooking my meth." Golden. "Hi, I'm back again." The secretary looked at me puzzled for a second. "Bryan Hooper." "O yes now I remember. I'm terrible with faces." "Yeah, you're also terrible with names," I thought. She then had me fill out some surveys. When I finished, she notified me that the counselors were in a meeting and that I should have a seat in the waiting area.
Not long after, the door to the one office opened and a bunch of counselor-looking folk filed out. It looked as though two of them were eyeing the waiting area like they were the main people. One of them was a guy. He was about 6 foot. Yeah, great description but I don't really know much else about him. The second was a woman who looked to be about upper 20s early 30s. She had dirty blonde hair and wore grey leggins with a green sweater. She was a looker I must say. I sound like I'm 80 when I use the word "looker" but its either that or sound like I'm 13 and use "pretty lady" instead. Anyways, they both kept looking over at me. I was trying to think of a way to get the lady to call me. In my head I was thinking, "Maybe if I bare my teeth at the guy when he looks in, he'll be afraid, and if I smile at the pretty lady, she will want to counsel me." If anyone is wondering I was picturing this in my head:
While having this deep thought process, and just before executing my plan, out of nowhere this other girl just swooped in and called my name. Damn, o well, the plan was probably a bad idea anyway.
So I go in this girl's office and she introduces herself. When she said her name I was thinking, "You look more like an Erika." I don't remember her actual name so I will call her Erika. She started off with asking me some questions about school and family. "What program are you in?" "Where are you from?" "Do you have siblings?" Then she got into some deeper questions, "Does drinking affect your everyday life?" "Do you need a drink to get going in the morning?" I answered all the questions as best I could. "Does anyone in your family have drinking problems?" I thought to myself, "Now that you mention it my sisters...stop it Bryan, not the time to crack jokes." I looked up at her, "No, no problems." She nodded and said that it was good that I have a strong relationship with my family members. She then prepared me for the next set of questions, "Now I know these may sound weird, but I ask everyone I counsel these questions."
Erika: Do you ever have the feeling that someone is following you or out to get you?
Me: No
Erika: Okay, good. Do you ever hear voices that aren't really there?
Me thinking: Do I look like a Schizophrenic?
Me: No
Erika: Do you ever see things that aren't actually there?
Me: No, well I guess as much as the next person.
Okay, after I said this I gave a laugh like I was joking, I obviously was. Erika did not crack a smile. She just jotted something into her notebook. "O shit" I thought. She thinks I'm crazy now. I tried to correct myself but I'm not sure how much it swayed her.
She finished up asking questions, had me sign a form and sent me on my way. The alcohol fiasco has finally come to a close. Although I'm half expecting a call from St. Johns psychiatric center.
Til Next time,
Bhoov
