Shaken Not Stirred

This morning I awoke only to find some important school papers stuffed in the trash can, my pillow de-pillowcased, and toilet paper (clean that is) sprawled all over the floor of my room.  I really do need to invest in some kind of motion sensor camera to capture the midnight antics that go on regularly here at the apartment.  Many have voiced their thoughts on how it would make an interesting youtube series, after all people love to see the insane idiosyncrasies of complete strangers.  It may perhaps be a project for the future, given that my subconscious is still up for the task.

Well, after a three day weekend, today was not exactly how I would like to start a week of classes.  Upon sleeping through my alarm, I was in a rush from the start.  Grab a shirt *sniff sniff, smells okay..throw on some deodorant and I was out the door, after getting dressed of course.  Halfway down the block I realize I forgot my phone so I turned around and headed back..in even more of a rush.  I grabbed the phone and ran back to the car, drove about 3/4 of the way to the Bartilucci and realized that I forgot my HHPD outline that was due when class started.  So I spun a Uwey and headed back to the apartment.  Needless to say it was a hectic morning but I made it to class on time.  

During class I did a bit of multi-tasking.  I had words with friends with my sister (which was not a pretty sight, had to throw that in sis), looking up riddles on the new app that I got, studying for the Derm final that is on Friday, and finding perfect times to make great eye contact with the prof lecturing, making sure to give a very studious head nod to let them know they had my full attention. Anyways, tomorrow morning will come much too quickly so I will leave you all with my favorite riddle of the day (the answer is at the bottom of the post):

What famous phrase does this represent?

=James=

Hint: Think chemistry

Answer: "Bond, James Bond"

Cheers,

Bhoov

Bhoov: Could You Imagine

No, your eyes do not deceive.  The blog name has changed once again but I am convinced that this one will be a lengthy marriage.  Now that I have already lost half of you with talks about marriage, I am pleased to say that the blog has re-emerged like a hippo from a mudbath only to throw feces and urine at its fellow hippos.  Yes, this is actually a true fact, one that was long researched in order to provide something other than a reference involving a fiery bird and ashes. 

As some of you know I am currently in PA school at St. John's University.  I managed to proceed to this point of my academic career by way of procrastination and long nights of Netflix.  No need to be alarmed, upon starting my didactic year I have changed my ways, which isn't nearly as much fun but I would like to graduate at some point. 

Anyways, make sure and check in every so often to see new stories or whatever it is that I may post.  I will usually announce when a new post is up via facebook.  Feel free to leave comments, good or bad.  As previews viewers know that comments can precipitate great stories.  Thats it for now.

Til next time,
Bhoov

Pretty Lady

Today was the one on one counselor meeting for my alcoholic problems.  I know, its better that I'm beginning to accept it.  Anyways, I needed to borrow MA's St. John's laptop because mine is currently out of commission.  When I entered the counseling center I wanted to start with something classic, "Sorry I'm late.  I had to borrow my friend's computer because I destroyed mine in a drunken rage last night."  What really came out was, "Hi, my names Bryan Hoover.  I have a BASICS meeting."  The secretary looked at me and smiled, "What was your last name again? Hooper?"  "No, Hoover.  H-O-O-V-E-R."  She typed on her computer keyboard for a few seconds or so and looked from her screen to me, "It says here your appointment is for 2:30."  I looked down at the clock on my phone, 10:30, great.  She smiled again at me, "We'll see you a little later."  I walked out and went back to the room to sleep.

When I returned a few hours later I felt like I looked the part.  I had my glasses on, hair was all over the place, not sure what was going on with my outfit, I didn't have socks on.  "Yes, this is much better," I thought.  Now I just need a better story.  "Sorry I'm late.  I had to borrow my friends computer because mine got too close to the flame while I was cooking my meth."  Golden.  "Hi, I'm back again."  The secretary looked at me puzzled for a second.  "Bryan Hooper."  "O yes now I remember.  I'm terrible with faces."  "Yeah, you're also terrible with names," I thought.  She then had me fill out some surveys.  When I finished, she notified me that the counselors were in a meeting and that I should have a seat in the waiting area.

Not long after, the door to the one office opened and a bunch of counselor-looking folk filed out.  It looked as though two of them were eyeing the waiting area like they were the main people.  One of them was a guy.  He was about 6 foot.  Yeah, great description but I don't really know much else about him.  The second was a woman who looked to be about upper 20s early 30s.  She had dirty blonde hair and wore grey leggins with a green sweater.  She was a looker I must say.  I sound like I'm 80 when I use the word "looker" but its either that or sound like I'm 13 and use "pretty lady" instead.  Anyways, they both kept looking over at me.  I was trying to think of a way to get the lady to call me.  In my head I was thinking, "Maybe if I bare my teeth at the guy when he looks in, he'll be afraid, and if I smile at the pretty lady, she will want to counsel me."  If anyone is wondering I was picturing this in my head:

While having this deep thought process, and just before executing my plan, out of nowhere this other girl just swooped in and called my name.  Damn, o well, the plan was probably a bad idea anyway.  

So I go in this girl's office and she introduces herself.  When she said her name I was thinking, "You look more like an Erika."  I don't remember her actual name so I will call her Erika.  She started off with asking me some questions about school and family.  "What program are you in?" "Where are you from?"  "Do you have siblings?"  Then she got into some deeper questions, "Does drinking affect your everyday life?"  "Do you need a drink to get going in the morning?"  I answered all the questions as best I could.  "Does anyone in your family have drinking problems?"  I thought to myself, "Now that you mention it my sisters...stop it Bryan, not the time to crack jokes."  I looked up at her, "No, no problems."  She nodded and said that it was good that I have a strong relationship with my family members.  She then prepared me for the next set of questions, "Now I know these may sound weird, but I ask everyone I counsel these questions."  

Erika: Do you ever have the feeling that someone is following you or out to get you?

Me: No

Erika: Okay, good. Do you ever hear voices that aren't really there?

Me thinking: Do I look like a Schizophrenic? 

Me: No

Erika:  Do you ever see things that aren't actually there?

Me:  No, well I guess as much as the next person.

Okay, after I said this I gave a laugh like I was joking, I obviously was.  Erika did not crack a smile.  She just jotted something into her notebook.  "O shit" I thought.  She thinks I'm crazy now.  I tried to correct myself but I'm not sure how much it swayed her.

She finished up asking questions, had me sign a form and sent me on my way.  The alcohol fiasco has finally come to a close.  Although I'm half expecting a call from St. Johns psychiatric center.

Til Next time,

Bhoov