Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Fight or Flight

As many of you know, my birthday was a couple weeks ago, March 17th.  It was a big occasion.  Not only was it my birthday but it was also the first day of the college basketball tournament and it was obviously St. Patrick's day.  St. Johns was scheduled to play a night game against Gonzaga. For the basketball fans out there, we all know how that worked out.  Given the occasion I decided that I was going to do this day right.  Some of the roommates and I got some Old E 40s (sorry to the relatives out there but lets be honest, you were all in college at one point.  It may have been when the Earth was flat and dinosaurs roamed the planet but you were in college, so lets keep that in mind.  You know how it goes).  So we had our 40s on standby and a few of our small group decided to hold off until the St. johns game, while PP and I started the festivities early.  Upon finishing each of the first two 40s, PP had the great idea that we would set the empty bottles out on the counter so we could take a picture of them later on.  Seemed harmless.  The day couldn't have been going any better.  I was kicked back with my feet up, drinking beer and watching basketball all day.  What a great way to celebrate 20 years of age.  I was about halfway through my second 40 when I began feeling a little drowsy.  I wanted to be energized for the big St. Johns game so MAA(my girlfriend who wasn't mentioned before.  Just to clarify that I wasn't going to nap with any of my roommates) and I went in my room to take a nap.

We both awoke to a pounding on my bedroom door.  Sleep is always a strange thing for me, so when I saw a man dressed like a police officer in the doorway I have to say I wasn't convinced at first.  Then MAA kind of shook me and everything became o so very clear.  My heart began racing, and looking back on the situation, I remember actually looking for a way out.  My eyes, believe it or not, locked on the window.  I was truly in fight or flight.  For a second I fully believed that jumping out the third floor window of Century hall and praying that I would miraculously sprout wings before I hit the ground would be better than whatever consequences were waiting for me at the door to my room.  I turned back to MAA, "Theres nothing we can do," she said in a defeated tone.  Why do they call it fight or flight anyway?  I get the first part but if I took the second literally I would have either been a puddle of Bryan on the concrete below or they would have had to bring in a specialist to dismantle the window to get me unstuck because logically, there is no way a human-being is fitting out that window.  As it was, I gave in.  Everyone filed into the common room and to my relief, the man banging on the door was Public Safety and not the NYPD.  The officer asked us what was going on, so we told him the story.  At about that point another Public Safety guy came through the door and the doorbanger gave him the story.  "Well, I knocked on the door, this young man opened the door, as he pointed at PP.  When I came in, this guy had two 40s in his hands attempting to hide them in the cabinets.  He looked at DM (I like the effort big guy).  These two empty 40s were sitting out on the counter."  I turned slowly to PP as he patted his chest twice as if to say "my bad."  No biggie there.  So the officer continued with his speech to us, "Listen guys, I don't want to have to do a search so if you guys have any other drinks, bring them out now."  PP got up, went in his room, and came out holding another 40.  "Are you sure this is all you guys have?" the officer repeated.  PP got back up, went in his room again, and came out with four more 40s, an empty bottle of Captain, and a half full fifth of Malibu.  I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing.  The officer thanked us for being so compliant and after taking down our names they were both gone.  We laughed the whole thing off, it sounded like we were going to get nothing more than a slap on the wrist at most.

A week later we all got emails saying that we had to meet with some lady about our actions..yada yada.  I met with her, told her what happened and was out in about three minutes.  As it turns out we all have to take three classes and have two one on one meetings.  I personally can't wait.  Hi, my names Bryan, and I'm an alcoholic.

Cheers,
Bhoov



just kidding about that last line...I'm barely a normal college kid let alone an alcoholic.

But I was thrilled when the public safety officer didn't find my Georgie gin hiding in the common-room freezer.




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